Si l'on dit à une femme: «Je t'ai fiancée», et qu'elle dit: «Tu ne m'as pas fiancé», il lui est interdit (d'épouser) ses parents, et elle est autorisée à épouser ses proches. Si elle dit: «Vous m'avez fiancé», et qu'il dit: «Je ne vous ai pas fiancé», il est autorisé à épouser ses parents, et il lui est interdit d'épouser ses parents. [Nous devons être informés à la fois de "S'il dit:" Je t'ai fiancé "et:" Si elle dit: "Tu m'as fiancé." Car si on ne nous enseignait que le premier, nous pourrions penser qu'il est juste qu'elle ne être interdit à ses proches, car il pourrait mentir. Car il importe peu à un homme de s'interdire gratuitement à ses proches, afin qu'il puisse mentir et dire: «Je vous ai fiancée», même s'il ne l'avait pas fait Mais elle, qui, si elle dit: «Vous m'avez fiancée», s'interdit à tous les hommes— peut-être que si elle n'était pas certaine, elle ne le dirait pas —de sorte que lui aussi devrait être interdit à ses parents, même s'il lui a donné un get. Nous sommes donc informés que ce n'est pas le cas.] (S'il dit :) "Je t'ai fiancée", et elle dit: "Tu n'as fiancé que ma fille", il est interdit aux parents de l'aîné (c'est-à-dire le mère) et l'aîné est autorisé à ses proches. Il est autorisé à la famille du plus jeune, et le plus jeune est autorisé à sa famille. [Car on pourrait penser que puisque le père est crédité par la Torah vis-à-vis de sa fille, il lui est accordé par ordonnance rabbinique; nous sommes donc informés du contraire.]
Bartenura on Mishnah Kiddushin
האומר לאשה קדשתיך וכו' – it is necessary for us to mention the case of when he says, “I have betrothed you,” and [the case] when she says, “you have betrothed me.” For if it (i.e., the Mishnah) [only] taught when he says to the woman: “I have betrothed you,” he is forbidden to her relatives while she is permitted to his relatives, I would think that the law is that she does not make herself forbidden to his relatives, for if he were to tell a lie, as a man doesn’t care [and hence speaks thus] if he forbids himself to her relatives for no reason, and he lies when he says, “I have betrothed you,” even though he has not [in reality] betrothed her, but she, when she states “You have betrothed me,” prohibits herself to the entire world until he gives her a Jewish bill of divorce, for if he had not established this for her, she would not have said it, and through her mouth he would be forbidden to all of her relatives, and even if he gave her a Jewish bill of divorce; this is what it comes to tell us, [that this is not the case]. (see Kiddushin 65a)
Ask RabbiBookmarkShareCopy
English Explanation of Mishnah Kiddushin
Introduction
This mishnah and the next one deal with cases where a man says that he betrothed a certain woman and she contradicts him or where she claims that he betrothed her and he denies it.
The general principle upon which this mishnah stands is that a person can make a statement which impacts himself/herself but does not impact others. Stated otherwise, a person is believed with regard to personal consequences but not with regard to consequences to others.
Ask RabbiBookmarkShareCopy
Bartenura on Mishnah Kiddushin
קדשתיך והיא אומרת לא קדשת אלא בתי וכו' – because you might think to say that since according to the Torah, the father is believed about his daughter, that the mother would be believed about her daughter, according to the Rabbis, but what it comes to tell us is that she is not believed.
Ask RabbiBookmarkShareCopy
English Explanation of Mishnah Kiddushin
If he says to a woman, “I betrothed you,” and she says, “You did not betroth me”: he is prohibited to her relatives, but she is permitted to his relatives. The man claims he has betrothed the woman, and therefore he is believed with regard to himself. The consequence is that all of the woman’s relatives (daughter, mother, sister etc. for a full list see Yevamot 4:7) are prohibited to him, because according to him, he is betrothed to their relative. However, the woman denies that this man betrothed her. Hence she is not prohibited to his relatives.
Ask RabbiBookmarkShareCopy
English Explanation of Mishnah Kiddushin
If she says, “You betrothed me,” and he says, “I did not betroth you,” he is permitted to her relatives but she is prohibited to his relatives. This is the opposite case. Since she claims to be betrothed to him, she is prohibited from marrying his relatives. Since he denies being betrothed to her, he is permitted to her relatives.
Ask RabbiBookmarkShareCopy
English Explanation of Mishnah Kiddushin
“I betrothed you,” and she says, “You betrothed my daughter,” he is forbidden to the relatives of the senior [the mother], but the senior is permitted to his relatives; he is permitted to the junior’s [the daughter’s] relatives, and the junior is permitted to his relatives. The mishnah adds a wrinkle to the previous cases. Here the husband claims that he betrothed a woman and she responds that he didn’t betroth her but rather he betrothed her daughter (again, one can imagine a Hollywood scenario lurking behind this mishnah!). As above, he is prohibited to her relatives because he claims that he betrothed her. The mother (the senior woman) is not prohibited to his relatives, because she claims that she is not betrothed to that man. The man is not prohibited to the daughter’s relatives because he denies having betrothed her. The daughter is also permitted to his relatives, since she didn’t claim that she was betrothed to him, but rather the mother did. A mother does not have the legal ability to give her daughter in betrothal and hence, unlike a father who does have such a legal ability, she is not believed to say that she has done so.
