פירוש על ברכות 2:5

חתן – [A groom] who married a virgin

Introduction This mishnah deals with a bridegroom reciting the Shema. The problem is that he may not be able to have the proper intention because he is focusing on other matters.

פטור מקריאת שמע לילה ראשון – is exempt from the Recitation of the Shema the first night (of his marriage) because of the grave concern that he might not find her to be a virgin. And I heard that he fears lest he might his genitals might be mutilated through his [initial] intercourse [with his wife] and it is his preoccupation with this Mitzvah. And All-Merciful One (God) said (Deuteronomy 6:7), “and when you are away” – in your “going” (the commandment for sexual intercourse with one’s [virgin] wife is tied to the command “be fertile and increase” – Genesis 1:27) – which obligates you but also commands one’s exemption [from the recitation of the Shema].

A bridegroom is exempt from reciting the Shema on the first night until the end of the Shabbat, if he has not performed the act. According to the first mishnah in Ketubot, virgins are married on Wednesdays. Our mishnah teaches that the bridegroom is exempt from his obligation to recite the Shema from the first night of his wedding and for the next four nights, if he had not yet had sexual relations with her. Until he has relations with her he will obviously be very nervous, especially since this may very well be his first sexual encounter. This nervousness will prevent him from having the proper intention and hence the mishnah exempts him. However, if he hasn’t had sex with her until after Shabbat, he must go back to reciting the Shema.

It happened with Rabban Gamaliel who recited the Shema on the first night after he had married. His students said to him: Our master, have you not taught us that a bridegroom is exempt from reciting the Shema. He replied to them: I will not listen to you to remove from myself the Kingship of Heaven even for a moment. The story of Rabban Gamaliel seems to show that the previous clause means that the bridegroom is exempt from the Shema, not that he can’t recite it should he want to do so. Rabban Gamaliel’s love of God, his desire to say the Shema and thereby accept upon himself the Kingship of Heaven is so strong, that he cannot desist from reciting the Shema even on his wedding night. [We don’t know how his bride reacted to this.]

אם לא עשה מעשה – If he did not engage in sexual intercourse until Saturday night (after the conclusion of Shabbat) which is four nights that he was preoccupied [with his ability to perform his sexual obligations to his wife]. And from that point onwards, he becomes intimate with her and furthermore, is no longer preoccupied, and even though he has not yet performed his obligation [of intimacy with his wife], he is obligated to recite the Shema.