If a widow said: "I do not want to move from my husband's house," the heirs cannot say to her: Go to your father's house and we will feed you; but they must feed her in her husband's house, and they must give her living quarters in keeping with her dignity. [Likewise, vessels, bondsmen, and bondswomen, as she was wont to use in her husband's lifetime. But if the house fell, they are not required to build her another one. For (in the kethubah) it is written: "And you shall dwell in my house." And even if she desired to rebuild it from her own money, she is not heeded.] If she said: "I do not want to move from my father's house," the heirs can say to her: If you are with us, we shall feed you, [the "blessing" of the house being greater]; if not, we shall not feed you. If she based her request on her being very young and their being very young, they feed her while she is in her father's house.
Bartenura on Mishnah Ketubot
ונותנין לה מדור – and similarly, utensils, male servants and maid servants that she would use them during the lifetime of her husband and if the house fell, they don’t have to build her another house, for it is taught in the Mishnah: “you will dwell in my house,” and even if she wanted to build it from her from her own funds, we don’t listen do her.
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English Explanation of Mishnah Ketubot
Introduction
A widow who has not claimed her ketubah is maintained from the estate of her husband. Our mishnah deals with the question of whether or not the widow needs to be in her husband’s house to receive her maintenance from her husband’s inheritors.
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Bartenura on Mishnah Ketubot
אם את אצלנו יש ליך מזונות – that the blessing of the house is plentiful.
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English Explanation of Mishnah Ketubot
A widow who says, “I do not want to move from my husband’s house”, the heirs cannot tell her, “Go to your father’s house and we will maintain you”, rather they must maintain her in her husband’s house and they give her a residence according to her honor. A widow has a right to remain in her husband’s house and receive her maintenance there. The inheritors cannot ask her to leave, even if they promise to provide her with maintenance somewhere else. Furthermore, they must provide for her at the same level that she received while her husband was alive. If her husband lived the lifestyle of the rich and famous, she may continue to do so, even if it eats into his children’s inheritance. She must live in a proper part of her husband’s house and may not be put into lesser attractive quarters.
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English Explanation of Mishnah Ketubot
If she said, “I have no desire to move from my father’s house”, the heirs can say to her, “If you stay with us you will have your maintenance, but if you do not stay with us you will receive no maintenance”. However, the widow does not have the right to force the heirs to give her maintenance money elsewhere. If she wishes to live in her father’s house, the inheritors can respond that she will only receive maintenance in her former husband’s house.
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English Explanation of Mishnah Ketubot
If she claimed [that she didn’t want to live there] because she is young and they are young, they must maintain her while she lives in the house of her father. The mishnah now mentions the one exception to this preceding rule. If she is young and they are young, she may not want to live there for fear of impropriety. It may even be that she may not be that different from them in age. If she makes such a claim, she may receive her maintenance money in her father’s home.
