Komentarz do Pirke Awot 1:14

He [Hillel] used to say: If I am not for me, who will be for me? If I don't rebuke myself to be assiduous about the commandments, who is there to rebuke me and make me assiduous? Since the prompting of others is [only] good on a temporary basis. But when the person motivates himself each and every day, he increases to think of thoughts in order to do the work of God. And there is no forgetting before him, when his heart desires [it], and it is a straight path in front of a person.

He said, "If I myself will not be the one that arouses my soul to virtue, who will arouse me, as I have no one to stimulate me from outside," like we have elucidated in the second chapter (Eight Chapters 2). "And since it is in my power to incline my soul to any side that I want, what deed have I done from the good deeds." It is as if he is [questioning] himself and saying, "What am I?" [This is] to say, "What is [becoming of] me? I am not complete, even if I did this matter." And afterwards he went back and said, "If I do not acquire these traits now in the days of my youth, when will I acquire them? Not in the days of old age, as it is difficult to veer from [one's] characteristics at that time because the acquisitions and the traits have hardened and settled - whether they are virtues or whether they are vices." And the wise one said (Proverbs 22:6), "Educate a youth according to his way, and he will also not veer from it when he gets old."

”If I am not for myself”: If I do not merit for myself, who will merit for me?

Introduction This mishnah contains one of the most famous statements of Hillel. Its poetry and its succinct message still make this, in my mind, one of the most memorable of rabbinic sayings.

And when I am for myself alone, what am I? I still cannot reach one thousandth of what I am obligated to do. And they made a parable [about this]: To what is the thing similar? To a king that gave his field to his servants and agreed with them [that his portion would be] thirty kor. They toiled and they brought him five kor. The king said to them, "But didn't I agree with you that it be thirty kor?" They said to him, "Our master, the king, the field that you gave us was of low quality. We toiled greatly on it and we were not able to get out from it more than five kor." So did they say in front of the Holy One, blessed be He, "It is the evil impulse that you have given us from our youth, as it is stated (Genesis 8:21), 'the impulse of man’s heart is evil from his youth.' And even when a man toils greatly to do what is straight in the eyes of God, a man only accomplishes a small part of what he is obligated to do." And this is what is stated (Psalms 103:14), "For He knows our impulse; He is mindful that we are dust." Since were it not that He made the evil impulse [powerful] in man - even without his working hard and pursuing the commandments - he would do many of them. [It would be] like in a high quality field - even if they did not toil in the work of his land - something would come out of it. But now that he knows that even if he toils greatly, he will only attain a small amount because of the evil impulse that corrupts his body; [then] all the more so if he does not toil, his soul will remain empty of the commandments, like a poor quality field if one does not toil in it. And if he does not fertilize it and plow it, nothing will come out of it. And about this is it stated (Proverbs 24:30-31), "I passed by the field of a lazy man, by the vineyard of a man lacking sense. It was all overgrown with thorns; its surface was covered with chickweed, and its stone fence lay in ruins." And for this reason he made the motivation of others adjacent to the motivation of himself and said, " If I am not for me, who will be for me," but if I don't toil and motivate myself to pursue the commandments, I will stay devoid of them - since, even "when I am for myself" and toil in them, I only reach a small portion of the many portions and what do I reach (mah ani can mean both "what am I" and what do I) if I don't toil at all?

”And if I am for myself”: And even if have merited for myself, what is this merit and what is it worth compared to what it is that I am obligated to do?

He [also] used to say: If I am not for myself, who is for me? But if I am for my own self [only], what am I? And if not now, when? This first statement of Hillel’s is not a statement lauding selfishness, but rather a statement which places a person’s character and qualities squarely on his own two shoulders. A person must work in this world to acquire his own merits, for no one else can do this on his behalf. The second statement balances out the first. Although a person must be concerned for himself, his responsibilities do not end there. One who does only for himself does not contribute to his people and to the world. He is not important, for when he passes away, no one else will be effected. Finally, if a person puts off his responsibilities, when will he find time to carry them out. As we say in English, “now is as good a time as ever”.

And if not now, then when? Such that he not say, I will occupy myself with my work today and tomorrow I will turn to and occupy myself with self-improvement. Since maybe he will not turn to [it]. And even if he does turn to [it], that day went, left and he removed it from the work of God. And he will not be able to make it up all the days of his life, since he is obligated to improve himself and to be occupied by the commandment all of the days that he is living upon the [earth], and he does not have the right to avoid this work - not even for a moment. And there is also included in this expression, "If not now," in the days of my youth, "then when?" If I leave it until my old age and hoariness, I will not be able to do it. And about this matter, David, peace be upon him, stated (Psalms 144:12), "For our sons are like saplings, well-tended in their youth." He meant to say that when the sapling is small, a person can grow it to be a straight tree and not be crooked. However after it grows crooked, it is very difficult to fix. And so [too] when a person is still young, it is easy for him to be on a good path and to turn from evil, but when he grows old with his evil, it is difficult in his eyes to leave it, as it is written (Proverbs 22:6), "Teach a lad according to his way; also when he will grow old, he not swerve from it." And it is [also] written (Deuteronomy 20:19), "since a man is a tree of the field." And also because repentance in old age is not full repentance. Since at that time, the impulse is not strong and desire is benign and the soul does not enjoy - and he does not desire - sinful pleasures. And this is the reason for his repentance. And about this matter is it stated (Ecclesiastes 12:1), "And remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before those days of bad come and those years arrive of which you will say, 'I have no desire in them.'"

”And if not now": in this world.

”when?”: Since after death, it is impossible to merit any more. Another explanation: “If not now” in the days of youth, “when,” lest in the days of old age, I will not succeed.