Musar על אבות 5:22

We have learned in Tractate Avot 5,22, that the disciples of the Patriarch Abraham are distinguished by possesssing a generous eye, a self-deprecating manner and a humble spirit, whereas a person of the opposite characteristics is sure to be a disciple of Bileam. The behavioral traits described in the tractate quoted reveal the character traits of envy, greed and egotism which are at the core of causing man's self-destruction.

Behold, a man is obligated to guard all of the mitzvot in all of their fine details, doing so before any person, whoever it may be, and not be afraid or ashamed before him. Likewise, it is written: "I will also speak of Your testimonies before kings, and will not be ashamed" (Tehilim 119:46). And we also learned "be brazen as a leopard..." (Avot 5:2).

When Eliezer examined who would be a suitable match for Isaac, he tested Rebeccah for precisely these traits. He did not have to examine Rebeccah concerning jealousy, seeing that Isaac had already been consecrated and could therefore never marry a slave girl, as distinct from Abraham. Rebeccah would therefore never have cause for that kind of jealousy. This is why he only examined whether Rebeccah was generous of heart and whether she was humble and modest. The signs that he determined this by are listed in 24,14. Rebeccah demonstrated generosity of spirit when she not only gave water to Eliezer and his men but also to his camels, and when she immediately volunteered lodging once she had been asked whether there was room in her house. When she responded to the question in 24,23: "is there room in your father's house ללין (to spend one night)," she offered lodging for more than one night, i.e. ללון. Rebeccah demonstrated her modesty when she addressed Eliezer as "my lord," and hastened to comply with his request for personal service. As soon as Eliezer noted this, he said "this girl is suitable for the house of an Abraham," and he viewed her like a lily amongst thorns; Laban was her exact opposite, just as Bileam was the exact opposite of Abraham. All of Laban's fawning on Eliezer was only so as to receive a generous monetary reward.

Let me now explain the significance of the various ages as mentioned in the ערכין legislation. Our sages (Rosh Hashanah 2b) have said that a single day is considered as a whole year [under certain circumstances, such as a king who was appointed on the last day of the month of Adar. Ed.]. By applying the same rationale, i.e. that there is a cut-off date which determines who or what belongs to a certain year, we can view the Torah's statement מבן חודש עד בן חמש שנים, as a reference to a five year old, since no change in the evaluation takes place until after that child is over five years old. The same applies to people between the ages of five and twenty. They are viewed as if they were twenty years old. Once a person is over twenty and qualifies for military service, he is considered as if he were sixty years old, [the age at which military duty terminates. Ed.] During these years a person's value is considered at its maximum, and his value is based on the number י-ה, i.e. ten times five=50 shekel. A female of the same age group is evaluated at thirty shekel based on a calculation of ו-ה, six times five=30 shekel. Between the ages of five and twenty, the period during which a male is supposed to wed a woman, he is evaluated as 20 shekel which is expressed in terms of the letter י spelled as a word, i.e. יוד=20. A female of the corresponding age group is also evaluated in terms of the letter י but in her case we spell the number ten as a letter, i.e. י instead of as a word. Her value is therefore determined as being ten shekel. Since the method of writing a letter as a word is called מילואים, and the full spelling of the word יוד is achieved by the addition, i.e. מלוי, of the letters ד-ו, there is a clear symbolism here, seeing that woman is to man is what ד-ו is to י. We find a sort of confirmation of this analogy in an Aramaic proverb quoted by the Talmud Kiddushin 41a: טב למיתב טן דו מלמיתב ארמלו, "better for (two) to dwell together than to live (alone) as a widow." A woman views herself as man's complement. We therefore find that man and woman together are still considered under the concept of י, i.e. either as regular י, or as יוד במילואו. A similar calculation applies when either of the male or the female is between the ages of five and twenty. They are then evaluated under the concept of ה. When the Torah describes the value of the male as five shekel and the value of the corresponding female as three shekel, the "three" is alluded to as a complement to the male in "three" ways.